Wednesday, July 18, 2012

designing a submission of fear

where do i start? do i start with the details of my upcoming submission for DAM's (denver art museum) Open For Design exhibit, or just discuss my fear of proposing my work in general?

perhaps these are questions i must answer to myself as i attempt to try and include my work and my idea for this exhibit. i'm nervous, that much i admit, mainly because i haven't included my work or my ideas in any sort of exhibit since college. so where do i start? the idea is in my head, but can i execute it as i present it in two weeks for acceptance to such a public-driven museum, and not just your local small town art gallery, but a space of a much larger scale.

i know my idea is an extraordinary one, and i know my idea will 'knock their socks off,' but i'm scared, i really am. this much i will admit. i'm not afraid to come to terms with this, but i'll try, regardless. 

what do i have to lose? nothing.

with the recent passing of my father, i want to dedicate this to him because i know he would have been proud, so for me, it's something personal and i know in my heart, he would have approved. he would have even agreed with this idea running through my head. it means a lot to me, from someone who has incorporated an eclectic mix of pre-owned designs and decor in my home, to brand new. i believe in an idea that can help clean up our cities and our world while including local inner-city kids who don't have the privilege of creating art or learning about art as a whole.

as an artist myself, that breaks my heart.

when you have an idea but continue to struggle with how to engineer it and put it out there for the judges to see, will they 'get' what i'm trying to convey, as i stand there in a mirror of confusion. 

again, i have nothing to lose. i can only try and not give up. i will persevere.

i won't share my idea with you, not yet. perhaps afterwards when i've already proposed my design, then my visualization will be hashed out here and discussed freely. i will be excited to share it with you. that much i can guarantee.

but for now, be patient. submission date is july 28.

as i sit here shaking with anticipation, i know i have a lot of work ahead of me. i have started with images only, but haven't executed the 3D design which i will need to present to the judges. in my mind, i need to come up with materials and a decent design that i hope will be accepted into this exhibit. an exhibit that i know will impress the public. as i will move forward with my search for scraps and the like, i know i'll have a challenging road ahead of me. 

it will be a test to my art and design abilities, something i've always had anxiety for, this much is certain, but providing recycled materials will be key to my idea and my design. otherwise, it will be nothing shy of an oxymoron if i head to the store and purchase nothing but new materials, but sometimes we will need to create something that purchasing new is imperative to the overall design. how can i overcome this?

imagination will hopefully override the outcome of my anxiety.

i will sit here and still contemplate my execution of my submission, but i promise you this, i will do it, i will finish!

No comments: